The speed

Dear Kevin Hines,

Let me write it plain and simple for you: Google Chrome will be able to download the porn you like at a much faster rate.

Simple as that!

If you're watching a porn video from Spankwire, it will load faster, if you're watching a porn video from HentaiUniversal, it will load faster, and even if you're watching a porn video from your personal favorite "Kevin'sCumShack" it will load faster. The browser is streamlined and efficient enough to handle even your porn needs.

Since web browsing began we've been trying to find a browser that can load your porn faster. Opera took forever right? And IE 8 doesn't load the naughty ads you like, and Firefox doesn't handle the flash players you like nearly as well. That's why Chrome is here.

Chrome. Helping Kevin Hines get the porn he needs faster. All the time. Every time.

Sincerely,

Dru Johnston

The logo

Dear Kevin Hines,

That argument speaks for itself.

Sincerely,

Dru Johnston

Themes

Dear Kevin,

The first thing I need to draw your attention to is Google Chrome's ability to theme your browser. This emphasizes individuality and that individuality is what makes us inherently human.

Let me demonstrate:

In the great Daniel Pinkwater epic The Big Orange Splot (please see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Big_Orange_Splot for information) the town never truly found their voice, therefore their happiness, until they were able to freely customize their house to their heart's content. In the beginning everyone lived in the same looking boring old house... we'll call those "Internet Explorers" just for clarity's sake. Then a bird dropped orange paint on the roof, and behold the house became a symbol for creativity, and that creativity spread. People could be sailors, people could be safari experts, whatever they wanted they could be.

Google Chrome also offers that same freedom. Let's say you want to be a gnome... there's a theme for that. Let's say you want to be a Hedgehog in the Mist... there's a theme for that. Let's say you want to be Mariah Carey... there's a theme for that. You can be anything your heart desires while you're caged up at your office job. Anything. And Google Chrome offers you that ability.

The ability to change. The ability to choose. The ability to be an individual.

Don't let your firefox drag you down to our level. Rise above with Google Chrome.

Also it's just a lot faster as a browser.

Sincerely,

Dru Johnston

The heroes of this blog

This blog is about two American heroes. And I will detail them for you now.

The first is Google Chrome:

...possibly the best browser on the market right now. I started using it recently and suddenly I haven't cursed at work 100 times a day because my Explorer hasn't filled my screen with pop-ups, my Firefox hasn't crashed because it couldn't handle the flash video that I was working with, or my Netscape hasn't stopped existing years ago. Simply the best browser I've used in years.

The second hero is Kevin Hines:

... the hero of a thousand faces... this is just one of them. I once saw Kevin Hines single handedly fight Rocksteady and Bebop without the aid of Turtles nor Ninjas. I also once saw him shiv a centaur. Now that's heroism (in fact in this photo he's yelling at a cursing child).

The problem hero Hines is facing, however, is his lack of love for the first hero.

Throughout this blog I will explain in detail why he should trust the first hero... and why they will eventually rely on one another...

This blog is a love story waiting to happen.